I am an individual...

Proud and wary...

 Through imagery I have helped others to discover the beauty I see in them through my eyes. Be it known that my vision is dwindling and I am more and more finding myself unable to do what so many take for granted. Imagery is part of my salvation. Along with music, an active mind and of course family, friends, Laura and Samuel I find life full and bright despite my inability to see well. Through the lens I see so much more. It makes no difference to me what someone looks like but when I see a glint in one’s eye or the way they talk, smile or even walk, I see what is beyond the obvious and find the heart and soul that beats within.

It was another photographic artist to bring to light what she sees. More so, what she saw in my. I was surprised, shocked and in one image brought to tears. Looking for what I would see in someone she brought on a whole different look and approach to it all. Yes I helped a little but only on a technical end. The art, the compassion and realization was all from with in Meighan. Drawing on her own pain as I do... she discovered much more of me than I realized.

In one image I could see a somewhat proud attitude. The powerhouse of a woman I have apparently become. With attitude that says I am confident and wise, I am not to be trifled with. The next image that took my soul and shook it like an earthquake showed the pain that I had lived with for so many years and I wept. I had found who I truly am, and fell in love all over again. For decades I lived with a person who was not truly happy unless imagery was involved. That was the moment in time that the real me was allowed to breath.

The pain still shows.

Be that as it may, I felt what so many first time subjects felt when in the studio for the first time. Although I have photographed myself many times, the time in studio with another photographer opened my eyes considerably. I have since been asked to pose nude with another art model for a group in a Life Drawing session. I have known the model for many years and was truly honoured and humbled.

This is my life and I am an individual...

Self aware...

The images in this post have not been altered in any way. Cropping, colour, contrast and light balance are the only adjustments made.

Since discovering my true self some years ago, actually freeing the woman I always was... I have been transitioning and adapting to where I would like to be. It is a difficult journey and there are roadblocks... both emotional and physical. I have had the support of my physician, my family (other than one or two) and some close friends. Since leaving Facebook completely, I have also found out a number of other things about so called "friends". So with the removal of toxic people, life will continue to blossom.

  

Some of my work with others is based on “Self Image Awareness” and “Photographic Therapies”. Through imagery one can come to terms with themselves with acceptance of their being and see their self-worth through the eyes and artistic imagery of another. I began to slowly apply this style of working to myself and while I do know I will never meet the media standards for the female form, I really don’t care. I am a real human being with desires, dreams and love for another.

I still want to lose more weight and become healthier, but this has always been the case. I do have a feminine feeling inside even though I am built like a linebacker but none of that matters in my mind... I was told I don’t look feminine but I had to remind this person that femininity is a matter of the mind and self worth as have seen very “feminine’ women that happen to walk like a cowboy with 500 pounds of flour on their back, but the opposite is true where I have met the least feminine women who have all the wonderful charm of a princess without being a snob.

I am who I am, ask if you don’t know how to address me and I will tell you. Treat me as a woman, as that is who and what I am. My self image... selfies if you must... has helped me so much. The support of those that have shown caring and love has helped so much, for this I thank you. Also, the love of an amazing woman in my life has brought me back from the precipice of a least desirable place. No worries there as most of you know I tend to have a parachute when dangerously close to the edge.

Be well, and love on another... tomorrow is never guaranteed.