An Island with Soul...

There is an island in the Pacific. My spirit sometimes ventures there and I know my soul mixes with the souls of friends that reside along its shores. I am drawn to this place and due to other travel I was unable to go in 2018 and I felt it. The loss, the emptiness the pain that I felt spiritually was undeniable and could not be ignored. When I shared stories of these journeys with Laura I could see her eyes widen and through this conversation plans were made to go this past May. The trip was too short but it was a trip that calmed the savage beast within.

Makaila - The calming soul.

This was a special treat as my two traveling companions had never seen the Rocky Mountains from this point of view. Never mind the opportunity to sail on a ship (ok a ferry) and experiencing some of the island magic and spirituality. Plans for a trip to the east coast in September were changed when unsettled conditions at the destination came up so, alternate plans were put in motion for another return to my personal land of salvation. The land of the Pacific Rim otherwise known as Vancouver Island

I have found new creative energies sitting on a rock above the ocean shoreline. Listening to the gentle waves lapping on the sand and feeling incredibly small when I watch the huge waves crash into the shores. Small, as they are huge but knowing the ability of these walls of water to destroy things but at the same time carving wonderful landscape features over a millennia of time. It is from these energies of mother earth that I feel my spirit becoming refreshed and given new life. 

The Reptilian Goddess

It is there that I met the “Reptilian Goddess”, The evilest of mermaids, a pixie like elf at the castle of the Goblin King, the Warrior Maiden and many other forest creatures who welcomed my presence and shared their stories with me. They allowed me into their realm to see and feel the magic knowing I would keep their secrets but share their images. My memories and some photographs as well as a rock were the only things I was allowed to remove from the magical places. I will respect their privacy with absolute honour.

At one with her magical rain forest.

I move on now and cleanse my life of the further “Diva” drama I am experiencing within the local model community and will make a few phone calls to properly break ties with those I choose to leave behind.

Peace be with you all, and may your spirits soar high in the skies.

Much love...

.

 

I am an individual...

Proud and wary...

 Through imagery I have helped others to discover the beauty I see in them through my eyes. Be it known that my vision is dwindling and I am more and more finding myself unable to do what so many take for granted. Imagery is part of my salvation. Along with music, an active mind and of course family, friends, Laura and Samuel I find life full and bright despite my inability to see well. Through the lens I see so much more. It makes no difference to me what someone looks like but when I see a glint in one’s eye or the way they talk, smile or even walk, I see what is beyond the obvious and find the heart and soul that beats within.

It was another photographic artist to bring to light what she sees. More so, what she saw in my. I was surprised, shocked and in one image brought to tears. Looking for what I would see in someone she brought on a whole different look and approach to it all. Yes I helped a little but only on a technical end. The art, the compassion and realization was all from with in Meighan. Drawing on her own pain as I do... she discovered much more of me than I realized.

In one image I could see a somewhat proud attitude. The powerhouse of a woman I have apparently become. With attitude that says I am confident and wise, I am not to be trifled with. The next image that took my soul and shook it like an earthquake showed the pain that I had lived with for so many years and I wept. I had found who I truly am, and fell in love all over again. For decades I lived with a person who was not truly happy unless imagery was involved. That was the moment in time that the real me was allowed to breath.

The pain still shows.

Be that as it may, I felt what so many first time subjects felt when in the studio for the first time. Although I have photographed myself many times, the time in studio with another photographer opened my eyes considerably. I have since been asked to pose nude with another art model for a group in a Life Drawing session. I have known the model for many years and was truly honoured and humbled.

This is my life and I am an individual...

My spirit soars high above...

I have made connections with people all over the place… all over the world really. Some are professional connections, others are more hobby or common interest related and very few are connections made at such a deep level that the pain of losing them would be close to unbearable. I am talking of a connection so deep that it is a connection of my spirit with another’s spiritual entity. It is when our individual souls wrap around each other in an embrace that feels so pure and so wonderful it just seems to be so comforting and wonderful.

I know who I have connected with at this level and can count them on one hand. Male and female alike, straight, gay, bi… none of that matters but what does matter is the love, spiritual and emotional connection that is made. This has nothing to do with a relationship like a loving couple would have… this is the relationship of two souls coming together outside of anything else that is going on in our respective lives. Two of my “soul-mates” (Sara G. and Angie B.) have wonderful relationships of their own and I admire that very much. I love to see them interact together and enjoy their love. This is something I long for and will always be hopeful but of course I will do fine otherwise.

Today was a day much like others… started out with brunch with Angie, Matt and their daughter. Food was great as always, company was fabulous and I enjoyed the visit. We then all piled into Angie’s little 4x4 and off we went to Beaver Creek Conservation Area. We wandered along one of the trails with a pocket full of seed, cameras and joy in our hearts. The area of course will be coming into bloom in a few weeks as winter has pretty much gone. The creek is flowing pretty good and the temperature was cool but quite nice either way. 

Two of God's creatures... Angie and a bird.

"SQUIRREL"

It wasn’t long before a whistle from my lips brought a wee Chickadee down from the trees to Angie’s open hand where it plucked up a seed and flew off. Walking a bit further down the path we discovered a little 13-Lined ground squirrel rummaging through the underbrush in search of food, We couldn’t coax this tiny creature closer but left a small handful of seeds behind for him/her to hopefully find. It wasn’t long before my hand was out and I handed Angie a piece of machinery she had never used before and with that machine she captured a wonderful photograph of a bird making a selection from the seeds I had in my palm. 

So tiny and delicate

Sara and the Ladybug

A simple connection with one of God’s creatures like this is wonderful. A small moment in time that even if wasn’t photographed it would be remembered. As I photographed Angie with the bird, I saw her face, with eyes as wide open as they could be, her mouth in a smile and she just looked like a little girl totally amazed with what was happening in front of her. I likely wouldn’t be able to capture in an image what I saw but it will always be in my mind. Much like the time Sara G. watched as a ladybug crawled along her hand and onto her fingers… there was a look of pure wonder and fascination. It will always be in my mind forever and this is where these kinds of connections are made. 

High above the creek, we prayed...

Near the end of our walk along these prairie paths we stopped near a bend in the creek.High above the banks Angie and I sat in the grass and we both prayed together. A prayer to God, Jesus and the heavens above. I thought of my dad, my family and all of my friends, I gave thanks for them all and for this moment I was about to share with a spiritual and incredible woman. While lots won’t believe in Tarot cards and I am one of them… I went into everything today with an open mind and accepting spirit. After we prayed I selected 4 cards from the colourful deck and starting with the first one I picked we went through each and what they could mean. I had no problem in giving the affirmation with each as they all told a story. The story was of me…


The reading was a private moment between me, Angie and our individual faiths, I am not going to go into details but what was discovered was already in my mind so no huge revelation. However, the order of the cards brought me to think about how true each was. Past… present… my struggle and how I have taken charge of my life and have started to live it my way as the person I am. Yes, she knew a lot of this beforehand but I am the one who picked the cards and in a sequence that matched my life. In any case I was overtaken by emotions at everything we shared and wept… I cried in the arms of a friend high above the river in the wide open prairies. Where the land and the air is pure and where no one would judge anyone. Free to let my tears fall upon her shoulder, feeling each other’s heart beat and hearing the sobs coming from my body… The breeze blew warm over us as we sat embraced in the warm sunlight from above… blessed and loved. 

Two souls finally came together, seemingly as one for a moment in time. I felt her pain, and she felt mine. It was a very spiritual moment for me and one of affirmation and awakening. We walked back up the hill, hand in hand to the visitor’s centre and talked. I wished Sara was with us to share in this moment but I also know there is always tomorrow. Each day is a blessing, each soul that had touched mine is sacred to me and one day there will be a soul that scoops me up and holds on till the day I am called on to a higher spiritual sense of being and I can join those who preceded me on our “Next Great Adventure”.