Friday, 30 November 2018

I am an individual...

Proud and wary...




 Through imagery I have helped others to discover the beauty I see in them through my eyes. Be it known that my vision is dwindling and I am more and more finding myself unable to do what so many take for granted. Imagery is part of my salvation. Along with music, an active mind and of course family, friends, Laura and Samuel I find life full and bright despite my inability to see well. Through the lens I see so much more. It makes no difference to me what someone looks like but when I see a glint in one’s eye or the way they talk, smile or even walk, I see what is beyond the obvious and find the heart and soul that beats within.






It was another photographic artist to bring to light what she sees. More so, what she saw in my. I was surprised, shocked and in one image brought to tears. Looking for what I would see in someone she brought on a whole different look and approach to it all. Yes I helped a little but only on a technical end. The art, the compassion and realization was all from with in Meighan. Drawing on her own pain as I do... she discovered much more of me than I realized.

In one image I could see a somewhat proud attitude. The powerhouse of a woman I have apparently become. With attitude that says I am confident and wise, I am not to be trifled with. The next image that took my soul and shook it like an earthquake showed the pain that I had lived with for so many years and I wept. I had found who I truly am, and fell in love all over again. For decades I lived with a person who was not truly happy unless imagery was involved. That was the moment in time that the real me was allowed to breath.

The pain still shows.
Be that as it may, I felt what so many first time subjects felt when in the studio for the first time. Although I have photographed myself many times, the time in studio with another photographer opened my eyes considerably. I have since been asked to pose nude with another art model for a group in a Life Drawing session. I have known the model for many years and was truly honoured and humbled.

This is my life and I am an individual...

Monday, 5 November 2018

Is there a start or end?

When writing a blog... where does one start or end? How often should a person draft a post? No one can answer those questions other than the writer. There was a time when I made nearly daily entries... over 1000 in 3 years but that sad existence is gone now and a new life is well underway. I have tried to go back to sort out when I figured things out and when I began to let people know what was on the horizon.
 
One life gone in favour of a new and authentic one.


 So with that in mind I put together a chronological list of events but I won’t bore you with that. Needless to say I quietly celebrated my 6th birthday this past October. Many things have happened since I first sorted out a rather chaotic thought process and most recently with conversation and messages with my massage therapist, I have sorted out even more of my life’s mysteries. Without friends like her, my esthetician, and the loving support from Laura I have moved further and quicker into my life. I can include a number of “soul” friends from the Pacific Rim all the way to a wee island in the Atlantic in those benefactors and treasure their existence deep within my heart.
 
I bared my soul and body to the world.
There have been changes in my body which I love and a few I don’t but I still embrace my entire being as I have learned to love myself and all that I am. Yes I curse random hair growth but who doesn’t so I do what I feel I need to in order to make it right... by my standards not by anyone else’s. I don’t care what others think and never will... it isn’t any of my business anyway. I dress for comfort and sometimes can be a little bit of a show-off but everyone is entitled. No one can tell me how to dress but I am open to suggestions. I do not fear openly shopping for clothes or asking for advice and I rather enjoy it.

 
Meditation or prayer for lost souls...


 There are several things on my mind as Remembrance Day is approaching but that is to be expected and I sometimes become very quiet and withdrawn. I plan my own schedule and sometimes that involves ripping out a few hairs (figuratively speaking) but when sorting out studio times, personal times and mix in with that social and studio travel and can be mind boggling. I still, much to the chagrin of some just wander off unannounced and without a solid plan but that has been my way for a few decades now. There are times I will be traveling with Laura and Sam, and other times not. If I am on a studio trip, my mind is solely on the purpose of the journey. But... when I want to go exploring then I will drag anyone along that wants to go.





 My vision is at a stage where my travel (by car) for any reason is limited and I find that extremely frustrating and even a little depressing. I work my way through those stages of depression one moment at a time. Knowing I will once again find the waters of the Pacific and have already planned another journey to a small group of islands in the Atlantic. There were times I would drive for 16 -18 hours in a single day just to reach a destination sooner... thereby having more time where I want, where I need to be. But more on that later...

Be well, be kind to each other and be blessed...

Thursday, 10 May 2018

Self aware...


The images in this post have not been altered in any way. Cropping, colour, contrast and light balance are the only adjustments made.

Since discovering my true self some years ago, actually freeing the woman I always was... I have been transitioning and adapting to where I would like to be. It is a difficult journey and there are roadblocks... both emotional and physical. I have had the support of my physician, my family (other than one or two) and some close friends. Since leaving Facebook completely, I have also found out a number of other things about so called "friends". So with the removal of toxic people, life will continue to blossom.

  
Some of my work with others is based on “Self Image Awareness” and “Photographic Therapies”. Through imagery one can come to terms with themselves with acceptance of their being and see their self-worth through the eyes and artistic imagery of another. I began to slowly apply this style of working to myself and while I do know I will never meet the media standards for the female form, I really don’t care. I am a real human being with desires, dreams and love for another.

I still want to lose more weight and become healthier, but this has always been the case. I do have a feminine feeling inside even though I am built like a linebacker but none of that matters in my mind... I was told I don’t look feminine but I had to remind this person that femininity is a matter of the mind and self worth as have seen very “feminine’ women that happen to walk like a cowboy with 500 pounds of flour on their back, but the opposite is true where I have met the least feminine women who have all the wonderful charm of a princess without being a snob.




I am who I am, ask if you don’t know how to address me and I will tell you. Treat me as a woman, as that is who and what I am. My self image... selfies if you must... has helped me so much. The support of those that have shown caring and love has helped so much, for this I thank you. Also, the love of an amazing woman in my life has brought me back from the precipice of a least desirable place. No worries there as most of you know I tend to have a parachute when dangerously close to the edge.


Be well, and love on another... tomorrow is never guaranteed.

Tuesday, 1 May 2018

Deep in the forest...


As I have done many times before, I set out to walk along a familiar stream in the mountains. This stream brings me peace, a sense of tranquility and gives me the opportunity to simple be one with nature. This time I go further along the trail next to the rushing water and I begin to hear what sounds like a waterfall.

I come around a gentle bend in the trail and see the water cascading over the rocks to the water below. It is very peaceful despite the water’s roar. I look across the landscape and my poor vision detects what looks like a person perched upon the rocks. I get a little closer but still not close enough.
 
She is one with her forest...
Attaching the telephoto lens to my camera I kneel and focus on the place where this entity is. I see what appears to be... an elf of some sort. Really she is a beautiful woman. Long flowing robes the colour of emerald and I soon notice the shape of her ears... a forest nymph, an elf. If I hadn’t encountered the “Reptilian Goddess” some years before on the other side of the island, I wouldn’t have even considered what I was seeing now.

I watched and I pressed the shutter once... she heard the mirror deep in the camera body click and turned to face me directly. A light smile came across her lips and she extended her hand in a friendly gesture of beckoning. I slowly made my way to this dream like creature who did not seem afraid. I was to learn later that stories of my encounter with the goddess had made its way through the land and I was considered a friend of the forest.
 
The dancing begins
We proceed down a short path to a large structure... ruins if you will. Perhaps the castle of the Goblin King, and considering the labyrinth of forest I just came through, this was probably the case. She danced and I tried to join her in her joyous celebration but with two left feet I simple stood back and watched. Enjoyed the honour and trust given to me.
 
Peaceful thought or prayer...
We leave the confines of the castle and as she peers over a railing she points... showing me a path and hinting for me to follow it. I couldn’t have gone more than a hundred meters before I could see my car along the side of the road, I turned to look back at the castle and my hostess only to find nothing there but a solid rock face. Everything I had seen was gone but... the images on my camera were safe. 

My friend points the way with her gaze...
A gift of imagery and peace from a wee elf in the deepest of woods...
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.
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Sunday, 29 April 2018

Monochromatic Artistry and more...

Julia... a softer side.

 As I explore the realm of light and shadows I discover new things with each sitting. The raw look of a monochromatic image is unforgiving when it comes to minor skin imperfections and that makes the image truly beautiful.
Monochromatic capture.
 I have worked with Julia for a number of years now and each sitting brings on entirely new images with individual uniqueness. I will continue working in many forms with this wonderful subject who is also a good friend and an absolute delight to explore the shadows with.. 
Sophisticated in her own way.

Thursday, 26 April 2018

Sarah Phillips Imagery

Amanda... Such grace.

This is my blog... It will serve as a temporary landing spot for my internet home until I get the website and hosting sorted out.

There have been many changes in the past while... a blossoming relationship, reorganizing the studio itself and of course the smartest thing I have done, the closing of the time vortex known as Facebook. Should you have any questions, feel free to contact me.

I breath easier and live life more fully than I ever have before. Thank you and blessings to all of you.




As casual as one can be...

 

Tuesday, 6 March 2018

Pearl of the Pacific


I gaze into unknown eyes... the eyes of a woman I have never met. It is comforting that even through an image that I can find some kind of solace and peace. I have seen many of her curves in images captured by others and it feels like a there is a dancer with flowing fabrics that appears to float and move with such grace that it fills my heart with emotions.

There is a bodyscape of a pure soul reminding me of so many wonderful places on Earth. The gradual rises and falls in the sand of the Sahara, the grace of the sheer blue ice along the ridges of Antarctica. Yet... the look I see in her eyes is lonely yet warm, loving and caring. Knowing that the close and trusted person who “introduced” us has had beneath his brush a most unique canvas... a human canvas filled with passion carefully buffered with inner pain and anguish

The mind of a passionate artist was fired up with visions of how this fellow human being should be captured in artistic imagery. Perhaps in a style never seen by anyone or yet to be discovered. Introduced for a reason, perhaps an unspoken reason between artists but one felt through energies and the currents of the universe. A connection has been made and I believe it could grow to bring a new light and creative art to the world of photographic imagery.

Should all three meet in the same plane of existence then nothing but pure magic will happen. The friendship will grow ever closer and wonder shall fill the otherwise desolate void.


(Image used with permission of the model - Photographed by:
Don Ambridge)