Reworking life and passions...

 Life is weird and has changed so much since March. Since the pandemic began my fiancée, her son and I have moved into a nice quiet townhouse to begin a new and interesting life together. It is with love that most of this has been accomplished. Yes, there has been stressful moments, tears and anxiety, we have managed to pull through most of that and have found a modicum of tranquil moments in our little bubble.

 

 

 

We are both outgoing in our own ways but we are also introverted in an extroverted way. While some of our “life” is in a kind of bad weather holding pattern, we both know that when the so called weather clears up that some things will slowly come back and if they don’t then so be it. We have a whole country to explore and a life to build together. It has some struggles and other “life events” that will be worked through but it will be done together and with love for each other and those around us.

 

 

 

 

 

 My studio work is on an indefinite hold and am trying to sort out a variety of safe ways I can carry on with some of my key subjects but that is not easy as some of them have fairly carefree approaches to life. That is fine and I will deal with it all as I move along, if I do. I have a number of images which I am reworking along with technical data and the usual story-line so that I have a continuous line that will have some sense to it. To be quite frank I have a hard time believing that anyone else can continue in this industry without major changes and so far I see a lot of guidelines being ignored all for the sake of an image.

 

 

 

I am hoping to post more here as well as imagery that reflects my work among other things. It has been a trial to find the motivation and drive to carry on in many respects but careful thought, planning, love and support as well as copious amounts of Hickory Sticks has all helped.

Christmas is approaching and for all of us it will be very different. We have no idea what health department guidelines will dictate as far as family being together. But I fear that many will be alone this year with no place to go. It is heartbreaking in many ways for me but I do know I will be with my little family here and really don’t know what the rest of the day will bring.

My father was a guiding spirit at Christmas and I believe he still is in some spiritual way. It is never far back in my mind and I still remember his smooth voice singing carols in church on Christmas Eve. He still had the voice of an angel despite losing most of his hearing.

I will always celebrate the season in my own way with music, the thought of Christ and hoping for peace and good will for all.

What to do? Decide carefully grasshopper...

With the most recent and dramatic increases of those affected by the COVID-19 virus and in the manner in which a lot of these infections were spread (Bars, nightclubs, Gospel Retreats). I am faced with some very difficult decisions when it comes to the studio, my creative work and so on.

Do I continue or do I stop all together after just making the decision to slowly reopen things up?

I completed a sitting with a close friend in Prince Albert this past August when things were much quieter and it felt amazing. I am struggling through some of the images but have a firm grasp on the direction I wish to go. I did some experimental imagery with my fiancée and see several directions that I can head.

Now the biggest issue I have is do I bring someone into the studio? There are a few subjects I feel a need to work with and had hoped to do so but that looks less and less possible. With the recent numbers and the recent travel of two of the subjects, I just do not feel entirely confident in the safety of anyone. Despite certain measures I could take I am still uneasy.

My Dad / Microbiologist 

 

 My brother came in from Vancouver Island to see our mother. We agreed to not connect on a physical level to maintain small bubbles and our Mom went into self-isolation after he left. This is how protective I can be of the bubble I do have with my own family and coming from a medical background I will not favour doing anything to “burst” that fragile membrane. With all that in mind as well as the current batch of covidiots and just stupid people out there I am not at all comfortable with any indoor studio work.

 

 

Do I simply shut down or what do I do? No one but me can answer that question and it is causing me some grief and a good deal of anguish. I will sort through all of my options and make a few long range decisions but for now it is the close range that I am most concerned with.

With all of that in mind I shall simply work with what images I do have and see if I can’t complete some of the projects. I will also loosely plan for future studio work but in all seriousness I am not that hopeful.

So, in closing this entry I want to wish everyone good luck, be kind to one another and follow the guidelines as set out, you all know them. Any further postings, news and such will be dispersed through this blog as it feels like the right time to close the remaining bit of “can’t live without” social media in the next few weeks. It just isn’t doing it for me. It has been over a year since my last posting here, That needs to change.

Be kind to each other, we are all on separate journeys overshadowed by a situation caused by idiots.

 

 

Social Media, The FInal Chapter...

I have been without Facebook for two years and a little more than a week ago I dumped Instagram. I did leave fair warning on both and let people know if they didn’t have my number or proper email then send me a note and I would give them the information. Too many people have become to rely on social media and such to maintain contact with friends and even relatives. Well, social media does what it is designed to do it seems. Either by design or by fate I really don’t know. To me, social media is walking into a store or restaurant and seeing someone there you know and saying hello, to their faces. Shake their hands, give them a hug whatever...

So, with my leaving social media as it is I gave people a chance to maintain contact. Since leaving the realm of a fantasy online world of likes, love and meme wonders, I have theoretically lost about 400 friends and have literally cleaned the contact list on my “cellular device” of over 40 people. My online phone usage has gone down about 5gig a month, my screen time is down and my image production and research is up about 150%. When I left Instagram a photo subject was concerned that she had no one to tag in the images she posted that I had captured. Well... mention my name in a comment then.

I am thinking that was beyond her comprehension so... bye-bye.

One thing I have noted since leaving the fakery of FB and IG was a rekindling love for my keyboard (piano) as well as books, a closer to thee feeling with my fiancé and meeting a wonderful couple who are becoming an integral part of my life. It is amazing how much was being missed and how work had suffered and so on. Sorry folks, you either send me an email or pick up the damned phone and call me. Is that too hard? I randomly send a text to someone every day and a lot of the time it was at the most perfect moment.

Anyway, My work continues within the realm of the shadow, looking at some fun bodyscape work through the winter as well as developing a certain and ancient source of light to a more modern useable form to use in my imagery. I was once told that I was a Master of Light. Recently I embraced that. Now the teacher who was once a student now becomes the teacher once again.

Walk with me along the shadows edge, take my hand as we drift into the darkness and I will take yours as we regain the light.

An Island with Soul...

There is an island in the Pacific. My spirit sometimes ventures there and I know my soul mixes with the souls of friends that reside along its shores. I am drawn to this place and due to other travel I was unable to go in 2018 and I felt it. The loss, the emptiness the pain that I felt spiritually was undeniable and could not be ignored. When I shared stories of these journeys with Laura I could see her eyes widen and through this conversation plans were made to go this past May. The trip was too short but it was a trip that calmed the savage beast within.

Makaila - The calming soul.

This was a special treat as my two traveling companions had never seen the Rocky Mountains from this point of view. Never mind the opportunity to sail on a ship (ok a ferry) and experiencing some of the island magic and spirituality. Plans for a trip to the east coast in September were changed when unsettled conditions at the destination came up so, alternate plans were put in motion for another return to my personal land of salvation. The land of the Pacific Rim otherwise known as Vancouver Island

I have found new creative energies sitting on a rock above the ocean shoreline. Listening to the gentle waves lapping on the sand and feeling incredibly small when I watch the huge waves crash into the shores. Small, as they are huge but knowing the ability of these walls of water to destroy things but at the same time carving wonderful landscape features over a millennia of time. It is from these energies of mother earth that I feel my spirit becoming refreshed and given new life. 

The Reptilian Goddess

It is there that I met the “Reptilian Goddess”, The evilest of mermaids, a pixie like elf at the castle of the Goblin King, the Warrior Maiden and many other forest creatures who welcomed my presence and shared their stories with me. They allowed me into their realm to see and feel the magic knowing I would keep their secrets but share their images. My memories and some photographs as well as a rock were the only things I was allowed to remove from the magical places. I will respect their privacy with absolute honour.

At one with her magical rain forest.

I move on now and cleanse my life of the further “Diva” drama I am experiencing within the local model community and will make a few phone calls to properly break ties with those I choose to leave behind.

Peace be with you all, and may your spirits soar high in the skies.

Much love...

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I am Sarah!

What an amazing and very liberating weekend. Laura, Sam and I gathered up our stuff, packed some food and went to the beach at the north end of Diefenbaker Lake. What some will know as Danielson Provincial park. The intent in this trip was to go see a part of Saskatchewan that Laura had yet to experience as well as to spend a day in the sun (and shade) and just enjoy the sand and the water. After all, this lake had more than 500 miles of shoreline to enjoy.

I wanted to go and was hesitant in my selection of clothing. Last year on a beach at Chitek Lake north of Spiritwood I wore a tank top and shorts. This year I wore a bikini and a mesh top which was soon removed. After sunscreen was applied, especially to the inked areas. I lay on the beach just in my triangle top bikini and enjoy the sun’s warmth. I would wander down to the water as well and enjoyed the freedom. I did have many thoughts in the back of my mind but soon decided that I was here, close to nude as I could be and that is the way it would be.

I did converse with an elder first nations woman who was there with her grandchildren and felt accepted and comfortable. It was a most liberating and amazing feeling to experience. I was virtually on the edge of tears. I did need to get out of the sun for a bit so wandered up to the grassy area and meditated under the shade of a spruce tree. Birds were chirping, a Robin landed nearby and found a for morsels of food.

This was a step I needed to do for me alone and I am glad I did. When we got back to the car and another peaceful grassy area we sat down to have some lunch and enjoy each other. Same was running about and tried to catch a bird but Laura and I both knew it would never happen. I did ask Laura if she would photograph me in my bikini laying on the grass and she seemed most happy to. I tried a few positions on my own but let her call the shots as she was the photographer after all.

Sometime later I took a look at what Laura had captured and how she edited them. One stuck out in my mind the most and I felt an emotional wave run through my body. As I looked through the images and in a moment of time, I felt the woman I had become emerge even further from the fortress that surrounded her. A major hurdle in my life had been overcome and I am Sarah!

Social Media... Be gone!!

I have undertaken to remove things that hinder my progress in life and my art. There was a time when all I had was my blog and my webpage. With that I also had time to work, play and be a human being. I ditched Facebook nearly two years ago and don’t miss it or its drama, hunger for likes and all the other bullshit that was there. The same goes for Instagram.

On the studio IG page there were handy links which included my webpage, proper email address and even my telephone number but everyone chose to ignore that and expect a message sent through Instagram would get to me in a timely manor. Only problem was I didn’t pay a lot of attention to the messages and they would sit for a day or two. I even sent a list of studio dates to a potential subject only to see it unread 10 days later. Once they actually replied that date they wanted was booked and they had the gall to accuse me of not taking the initiative. Needless to say they are totally gone as far as I am concerned and a “report” has been filed with the photographer’s black list.

I move on, free of the time wasted on social media and back to life as it was. Deal with it people, my email and phone number are plainly listed for all to see.

Now to brush the cat...

Moving on to the future...

I have watched the photographic industry die in Saskatoon. As a fellow artist pointed out the very essence of a collaboration has changed and now becomes a commercial advertisement of some sort. When to me (and to several others of us here in Saskatoon) the word collaboration means and still does: Where two or more people get together and plan and work out the details of a project (artistic etc) and come together to bring it to fruition. Hopefully succeeding but knowing that failure could also be part of it. If you fail, you sort out what went wrong and try again.

 

There are several so called “agencies” in Saskatoon. The 

model will pay a fee and hopefully get some kind of paying work out of the arrangement. Well... to me being an agent or signing with an agency means you have something they are looking for and you shouldn’t be paying a fee, the agent should be paying you a percentage of whatever income you help bring in. Anyway, this along with those people who simply cannot commit or live up to the arrangement made which includes not showing up or calling at the last minute because their grandma died again, has virtually killed this city for any creative collaborations.

The future of photo modelling has gone off on a tangent and if it weren’t for a select few then I would simply move on. With “flakes” on all sides as well as unlawfully operated agencies, studios and such that do not have a license (city and provincial) and don’t pay taxes (provincial and federal) I don’t need the drama nor bullsh-t and am beginning not to tolerate it. Will I report the lawbreakers?

Maybe...

I have been asked why I travel to the west coast as often as I do. Well the answer is simple. The artists in Vancouver and on Vancouver Island are a dedicated group and will work together with me and other photographers, artists etc to bring a simple idea to life. A true meaning of collaboration is alive and well. Everyone will listen to what others have to offer and their noses are not stuck up into the air like there are at home. Along the way there is some really fantastic scenery and that helps in the journey.

I may seem to be a bit bitter but I am not really as I have better things to do. Working with a small cluster of real people, my work and research my work will continue. So will my reading, music (playing and composing) sketching and more. My studio will continue to operate working on collaborative and personal projects as well as Photographic Therapies and so on. I will free up even more time by eliminating most social media (Facebook and the studio Facebook pages) but Instagram will be maintained.

I am done with many things but those who are real and dedicated will walk with me and a handful of others from coast to coast proudly into the future. 

This blog will serve as the medium I choose to share my work and imagery.

I am an individual...

Proud and wary...

 Through imagery I have helped others to discover the beauty I see in them through my eyes. Be it known that my vision is dwindling and I am more and more finding myself unable to do what so many take for granted. Imagery is part of my salvation. Along with music, an active mind and of course family, friends, Laura and Samuel I find life full and bright despite my inability to see well. Through the lens I see so much more. It makes no difference to me what someone looks like but when I see a glint in one’s eye or the way they talk, smile or even walk, I see what is beyond the obvious and find the heart and soul that beats within.

It was another photographic artist to bring to light what she sees. More so, what she saw in my. I was surprised, shocked and in one image brought to tears. Looking for what I would see in someone she brought on a whole different look and approach to it all. Yes I helped a little but only on a technical end. The art, the compassion and realization was all from with in Meighan. Drawing on her own pain as I do... she discovered much more of me than I realized.

In one image I could see a somewhat proud attitude. The powerhouse of a woman I have apparently become. With attitude that says I am confident and wise, I am not to be trifled with. The next image that took my soul and shook it like an earthquake showed the pain that I had lived with for so many years and I wept. I had found who I truly am, and fell in love all over again. For decades I lived with a person who was not truly happy unless imagery was involved. That was the moment in time that the real me was allowed to breath.

The pain still shows.

Be that as it may, I felt what so many first time subjects felt when in the studio for the first time. Although I have photographed myself many times, the time in studio with another photographer opened my eyes considerably. I have since been asked to pose nude with another art model for a group in a Life Drawing session. I have known the model for many years and was truly honoured and humbled.

This is my life and I am an individual...

Is there a start or end?

When writing a blog... where does one start or end? How often should a person draft a post? No one can answer those questions other than the writer. There was a time when I made nearly daily entries... over 1000 in 3 years but that sad existence is gone now and a new life is well underway. I have tried to go back to sort out when I figured things out and when I began to let people know what was on the horizon.
 

One life gone in favour of a new and authentic one.

 So with that in mind I put together a chronological list of events but I won’t bore you with that. Needless to say I quietly celebrated my 6^th birthday this past October. Many things have happened since I first sorted out a rather chaotic thought process and most recently with conversation and messages with my massage therapist, I have sorted out even more of my life’s mysteries. Without friends like her, my esthetician, and the loving support from Laura I have moved further and quicker into my life. I can include a number of “soul” friends from the Pacific Rim all the way to a wee island in the Atlantic in those benefactors and treasure their existence deep within my heart.

 

I bared my soul and body to the world.

There have been changes in my body which I love and a few I don’t but I still embrace my entire being as I have learned to love myself and all that I am. Yes I curse random hair growth but who doesn’t so I do what I feel I need to in order to make it right... by my standards not by anyone else’s. I don’t care what others think and never will... it isn’t any of my business anyway. I dress for comfort and sometimes can be a little bit of a show-off but everyone is entitled. No one can tell me how to dress but I am open to suggestions. I do not fear openly shopping for clothes or asking for advice and I rather enjoy it.

 

Meditation or prayer for lost souls...

 There are several things on my mind as Remembrance Day is approaching but that is to be expected and I sometimes become very quiet and withdrawn. I plan my own schedule and sometimes that involves ripping out a few hairs (figuratively speaking) but when sorting out studio times, personal times and mix in with that social and studio travel and can be mind boggling. I still, much to the chagrin of some just wander off unannounced and without a solid plan but that has been my way for a few decades now. There are times I will be traveling with Laura and Sam, and other times not. If I am on a studio trip, my mind is solely on the purpose of the journey. But... when I want to go exploring then I will drag anyone along that wants to go.

 My vision is at a stage where my travel (by car) for any reason is limited and I find that extremely frustrating and even a little depressing. I work my way through those stages of depression one moment at a time. Knowing I will once again find the waters of the Pacific and have already planned another journey to a small group of islands in the Atlantic. There were times I would drive for 16 -18 hours in a single day just to reach a destination sooner... thereby having more time where I want, where I need to be. But more on that later...

Be well, be kind to each other and be blessed...

Self aware...

The images in this post have not been altered in any way. Cropping, colour, contrast and light balance are the only adjustments made.

Since discovering my true self some years ago, actually freeing the woman I always was... I have been transitioning and adapting to where I would like to be. It is a difficult journey and there are roadblocks... both emotional and physical. I have had the support of my physician, my family (other than one or two) and some close friends. Since leaving Facebook completely, I have also found out a number of other things about so called "friends". So with the removal of toxic people, life will continue to blossom.

  

Some of my work with others is based on “Self Image Awareness” and “Photographic Therapies”. Through imagery one can come to terms with themselves with acceptance of their being and see their self-worth through the eyes and artistic imagery of another. I began to slowly apply this style of working to myself and while I do know I will never meet the media standards for the female form, I really don’t care. I am a real human being with desires, dreams and love for another.

I still want to lose more weight and become healthier, but this has always been the case. I do have a feminine feeling inside even though I am built like a linebacker but none of that matters in my mind... I was told I don’t look feminine but I had to remind this person that femininity is a matter of the mind and self worth as have seen very “feminine’ women that happen to walk like a cowboy with 500 pounds of flour on their back, but the opposite is true where I have met the least feminine women who have all the wonderful charm of a princess without being a snob.

I am who I am, ask if you don’t know how to address me and I will tell you. Treat me as a woman, as that is who and what I am. My self image... selfies if you must... has helped me so much. The support of those that have shown caring and love has helped so much, for this I thank you. Also, the love of an amazing woman in my life has brought me back from the precipice of a least desirable place. No worries there as most of you know I tend to have a parachute when dangerously close to the edge.

Be well, and love on another... tomorrow is never guaranteed.

Deep in the forest...

As I have done many times before, I set out to walk along a familiar stream in the mountains. This stream brings me peace, a sense of tranquility and gives me the opportunity to simple be one with nature. This time I go further along the trail next to the rushing water and I begin to hear what sounds like a waterfall.

I come around a gentle bend in the trail and see the water cascading over the rocks to the water below. It is very peaceful despite the water’s roar. I look across the landscape and my poor vision detects what looks like a person perched upon the rocks. I get a little closer but still not close enough.

 

She is one with her forest...

Attaching the telephoto lens to my camera I kneel and focus on the place where this entity is. I see what appears to be... an elf of some sort. Really she is a beautiful woman. Long flowing robes the colour of emerald and I soon notice the shape of her ears... a forest nymph, an elf. If I hadn’t encountered the “Reptilian Goddess” some years before on the other side of the island, I wouldn’t have even considered what I was seeing now.

I watched and I pressed the shutter once... she heard the mirror deep in the camera body click and turned to face me directly. A light smile came across her lips and she extended her hand in a friendly gesture of beckoning. I slowly made my way to this dream like creature who did not seem afraid. I was to learn later that stories of my encounter with the goddess had made its way through the land and I was considered a friend of the forest.

 

The dancing begins

We proceed down a short path to a large structure... ruins if you will. Perhaps the castle of the Goblin King, and considering the labyrinth of forest I just came through, this was probably the case. She danced and I tried to join her in her joyous celebration but with two left feet I simple stood back and watched. Enjoyed the honour and trust given to me.

 

Peaceful thought or prayer...

We leave the confines of the castle and as she peers over a railing she points... showing me a path and hinting for me to follow it. I couldn’t have gone more than a hundred meters before I could see my car along the side of the road, I turned to look back at the castle and my hostess only to find nothing there but a solid rock face. Everything I had seen was gone but... the images on my camera were safe. 

My friend points the way with her gaze...

A gift of imagery and peace from a wee elf in the deepest of woods...

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Monochromatic Artistry and more...

Julia... a softer side.

 As I explore the realm of light and shadows I discover new things with each sitting. The raw look of a monochromatic image is unforgiving when it comes to minor skin imperfections and that makes the image truly beautiful.

Monochromatic capture.

 I have worked with Julia for a number of years now and each sitting brings on entirely new images with individual uniqueness. I will continue working in many forms with this wonderful subject who is also a good friend and an absolute delight to explore the shadows with.. 

Sophisticated in her own way.

Sarah Phillips Imagery

Amanda... Such grace.

This is my blog... It will serve as a temporary landing spot for my internet home until I get the website and hosting sorted out.

There have been many changes in the past while... a blossoming relationship, reorganizing the studio itself and of course the smartest thing I have done, the closing of the time vortex known as Facebook. Should you have any questions, feel free to contact me.

I breath easier and live life more fully than I ever have before. Thank you and blessings to all of you.

As casual as one can be...

 

Pearl of the Pacific

I gaze into unknown eyes... the eyes of a woman I have never met. It is comforting that even through an image that I can find some kind of solace and peace. I have seen many of her curves in images captured by others and it feels like a there is a dancer with flowing fabrics that appears to float and move with such grace that it fills my heart with emotions.

There is a bodyscape of a pure soul reminding me of so many wonderful places on Earth. The gradual rises and falls in the sand of the Sahara, the grace of the sheer blue ice along the ridges of Antarctica. Yet... the look I see in her eyes is lonely yet warm, loving and caring. Knowing that the close and trusted person who “introduced” us has had beneath his brush a most unique canvas... a human canvas filled with passion carefully buffered with inner pain and anguish

The mind of a passionate artist was fired up with visions of how this fellow human being should be captured in artistic imagery. Perhaps in a style never seen by anyone or yet to be discovered. Introduced for a reason, perhaps an unspoken reason between artists but one felt through energies and the currents of the universe. A connection has been made and I believe it could grow to bring a new light and creative art to the world of photographic imagery.

Should all three meet in the same plane of existence then nothing but pure magic will happen. The friendship will grow ever closer and wonder shall fill the otherwise desolate void.


(Image used with permission of the model - Photographed by: Don Ambridge)

Is this a Gamble?

Meet Richard Gamble, he is a bit of an icon in one neighbourhood and I can see why...

 Order Two Foods (Facebook Page link at the bottom) is a small operation that serves truly amazing and freshly cooked hot dogs. The product is always fresh and it really does taste good. A variety of options and condiments make the experience just that much better.

 You will always be greeted with what I call a “down home country greeting” which is indicative of Saskatchewan. A very clean cart with classical music playing in the background makes the experience just that much better. Rumour has it that if you can identify the music playing or the composer of the piece... your hot dog is free.

 There is always a kind word from the host, and a warm greeting to all who pass. If you leave a tip they are of course welcome but I added to the pot a little and contributed to the “Pay it Forward” program so that someone in a less fortunate place in life than myself may have a better day with a free meal. I met a couple of Richard’s regulars while I was there and it was wonderful to hear the conversation build. I felt at east (not easy for me) and it was great in sharing a bit of life with two people I had never met till today.

 I have a million things to be thankful for... My life, my identity, my children and grandchildren (like 20+ descendants) my family as a whole, my extended family all of which I treasure greatly. I am thankful for my health, my work and my ability to continue my art even on a low vision day. I am thankful for Kozmo who loves me as I love him... unconditionally (even when he draws blood).

   

I am thankful for you, every one of you... you are part of my life in one way or another.

Peace be with you all...

Order Two Food's Facebook Page

https://www.facebook.com/order2foods/

Show them some love and support...

**GWC ALERT**

Further to a Facebook post from this morning regarding the G.W.C. (Guy/Gal with Camera)...

I sat in a booth at my favourite brunch spot this morning as I do so often. Across the aisle from me was a man who looked... normal (Whatever normal is) Across from him was a young woman so at first glance it appeared that a girl was out for a meal with her Dad or something like that.

My vision isn’t top notch but my hearing is still pretty good in my left ear. As I ate my food I could hear that the man across from me was a top notch, well known photographer and the young lady was his prospective model. However... what I was hearing did not jive well at all and left me unsettled. So, as I consumed my food, I was also hearing some names and corporations being mentioned so I did a little Googling as I dined.

Nothing at all was ringing true when he claimed certain things about the corporations he was “working” for as this is simply not the way that they do business. I made a few notes and when I drank the last of my coffee I got up and went to pay for my meal. I let the server know what I was going to do and would be very discrete in my next move.

I took out my business card, went to the table and handing my card to the young lady I said hello. I indicated that I had witnessed the conversation and told the young woman that she was being lied to and it is in her best interest to leave the restaurant while she still had her integrity intact. My position blocked the man from leaving and I had advised him sit quietly and that I would not move until I was sure that his guest was safe.

I fully expect to make a report to the authorities and will gladly do so if asked. 

Part from that which no longer serves you...

People say to separate yourselves from things and people that simply do you no good or are interfering with your life. I have been quietly doing that over that past few years. Giving away things I had in my home I had no use for, or things that I had as keepsakes from family members since passed. I have already given a few things that belonged to my Dad to my sons and have a couple of his things also set aside for my two girls which I will pass on to them.

When it comes to friends... wait, let me rephrase that. When it comes to people I know, that is a different thing. Facebook for example... If you are someone I know through my photographic work then the studio page is where to go for information, contact and that sort of thing. Just this morning I quietly removed about a dozen people from my personal Facebook page that I have either not been in contact with in some form or, have no real need to be part of my personal page. There are those that are studio related on my friends list... but they will remain as we have developed a true friendship and a close bond with each other. Either through my work or simply by being a friend.

When it comes to the modeling and photographic industry in this city, I and others have found that far too many people are taking a much more lackadaisical approach while those who are truly serious are far too busy to devote the time that they want to the work. When you have subjects who are being paid for a certain series fail to show up because they are hung-over then you know where the field has been taken over by weeds. It troubles me when I get a much better and stronger support base in a city far away than I do right at home.

I am not totally disheartened as there are some truly amazing people in this city that totally support the work I do and have always done their best to help me achieving the image I am seeking despite the chaos which is my mind. To those I give my heartfelt appreciation and love. As far as the rest of the so called models and the so called “wanna be” photographers who just bought a camera and are flooding into the area, well... your “work” as such tells the story. I have approached a few of them that seem to have promise and offered my assistance, only to be rebuked and told where to go. I have already been there twice and have no intention of ever returning.

This is my life on the prairies, a place I call home.